I do not have children. So I have no idea how all of you parents out there are managing to hold down jobs and home school at the same time. You have my utmost respect and admiration.
But I’d like to try to help if I can, and from a suitably social distance. So here are some inspiring sports ads from years gone by that you could show your kids whenever their sports day is cancelled and you can’t be arsed putting on a sports day of your own at the school of mum and dad.
Nike’s 1998 classic features the then Brazilian football team causing absolute mischief in an airport, breaking local and international laws with every kick. Be warned, this will make your children want to play football in an airport the next time you go on holiday, but they won’t get the immunity shown to the samba boys.
Nike 'Match in hell'
Next, Nike showcases why you should always be up for a kick-about. If you draw the short straw and have to go topless in a battle of shirts versus skins, just make sure you don’t take one of those crusty tattered footballs to your bare-naked abdomen. It’ll feel like a cheese grater giving your tummy a friction burn.
Shiiiit, tell me about it. Keep running into adulthood, kids, and enjoy your youth! Not many sports brands go for humour and I don’t think there’s been a funnier sports ad in the past 20 years since Reebok’s unnervingly true "Belly’s gonna get ya". I think this ad is an important warning for all those under 25.
Puma 'The after hours athlete'
OK, this one is for the tutors rather than the pupils. But when lockdown does finally end, remember that going out can be a sport too. So let’s all go ahead and class that gin and tonic or glass of rouge we’re drinking every night as "training". Thank you, Puma.
Nike 'Dream crazy'
Finally, and most pertinent for what is happening in the world right now, is this wonderfully inspiring sports ad that shows how an athlete can transcend their sport and have a deeper cultural impact. It’s been nearly four years since Colin Kaepernick played his last American football game, but last week the NFL finally changed its long-held opposed stance towards players protesting during the national anthem.
"Believe in something, even if it means sacrificing everything."
If you teach one thing during your home-school sports day, teach that.
Steve Howell is creative partner at Dark Horses