This writer has been robbed of amazing bread-sex puns because the weird and kink-thirsty minds over at 72andSunny New York used every last one of them in this 69-page cookbook for Trojan.
"Rising Time" puts all other baking books to shame with recipes for breads like "Sourd-ohhhhhhhh," "Pump Her Nickel" and "Try Everything Once Bagel."
Trojan released the innuendo-laden literature in honor of National Baking Day on Sunday March 17.
The launch follows a recent survey by the brand which showed that only 19 percent of people are having more sex with their partners, while 37 percent are baking instead.
Trojan worked with its advertising agency of record to create the sensual baking recipes and surprisingly-sexual bread photography to remind couples quarantining home together that they could be having sex right now -- or while the bread rises. Each recipe is paired with a Trojan Condom.
The brand’s latest campaign is one in a string of drives aimed at highlighting the importance of shutting down casual dating while COVID-19 tears through the world.
At the end of March, New York City’s Health Department released a Sex and Coronavirus Disease Guideline. There’s still a lot to learn about coronavirus and sex, but experts have determined that it has been found in feces of people who are infected, and not yet found in semen or vaginal fluid. So, basically, anal sex is not safe. Neither is rimming.
The official government advice is to have sex with people close to you.
"You are your safest sex partner," reads the document. "Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex.
"The next safest partner is someone you live with. Having close contact -- including sex -- with only a small circle of people helps prevent spreading."
It adds that you should avoid sex with anyone outside of your household and consider taking a break from in-person dates.
Last month, Trojan launched "Sexplore at Home With Confidence" and asked all those thirsty lust-buckets among us to avoid texting an ex and, instead, slide into its DMs with an eggplant emoji for a little self-love in the form of free vibrators and lube.
The brand has come out seriously swinging since COVID-19 took hold, dominating the sex category with a rare combination of levity and purpose-led work.