Ad of the Week: Trojan Condoms showers us with love toys so we don't text our ex

Be strong. Stay home and masturbate.

We get it. Times are hard. And horny. Your ex’s digits are burning a hole in your phone. But don’t do it -- do not text them. Sext Trojan Condoms instead.

The brand is asking all those thirsty lust-buckets among us to slide into its DMs with an eggplant emoji for a little self-love in the form of free vibrators and lube. 

"Sexplore at Home With Confidence" is a campaign created in partnership with marketing AOR 72andSunny.  

Bruce Weiss, vice president of marketing for Trojan Brand Condoms, told Campaign US: "Trojan Brand Condoms stands for trust and protection, so we worked with our creative agencies and partners to quickly get out messaging that encourages safety and pleasure at home, but in a way that’s relevant to them.

"We aimed to provide a bit of relief and information from NYC Department of Health about sex in the time of COVID-19 that showed how you can confidently sexplore at home." 

Trojan Condoms is issuing the toys on a first cum, first served basis while supplies last -- and judging by the number of lonely singletons locked away in studio apartments, they will go fast -- so get sliding. 

Peter Hughes, creative director at 72andSunny New York, added: "Trojan is all about helping people explore this big sexy world, even when your big sexy world is confined to your house. 

"We knew as the weeks in quarantine crept on across the country, temptation for physical affection—even from an ex!—wouldn’t be far behind. ‘Sext Us Instead’ is a reminder to stay home, it might be difficult and tempting, but it’s for the good of everyone. Trojan’s there to make this time alone more enjoyable. After all, you are your safest (and best) sex partner right now."

While the drive is obviously a lot of fun in its simplicity and creativity, there is a serious undertone. At the end of March, New York City’s Health Department released a Sex and Coronavirus Disease Guideline. It highlighted the importance of shutting down casual dating while COVID-19 tears through the world. 

There’s still a lot to learn about coronavirus and sex, but experts have determined that it has been found in feces of people who are infected, and not yet found in semen or vaginal fluid. So, basically, anal sex is not safe. Neither is rimming. 

The official government advice is to have sex with people close to you. 

"You are your safest sex partner," reads the document. "Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex.

"The next safest partner is someone you live with. Having close contact -- including sex -- with only a small circle of people helps prevent spreading."

It adds that you should avoid sex with anyone outside of your household and consider taking a break from in-person dates. 

"Video dates, sexting or chat rooms may be options for you."

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